Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
