Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
