Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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