Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
