I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
