apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
