Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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