yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
