dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
