Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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