It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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