so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
