hell yes lets make some ravioli
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
