I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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