Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
