I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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