i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I forget how to act sober
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
