The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
