Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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