You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
