Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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