what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
