i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
