Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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