We won't sleep together?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
