I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
3pm strippers are depressing
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
