god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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