Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
