I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
