I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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