I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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