id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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