Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
