I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
