Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
