we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
