I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
