I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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