it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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