Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
