I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
