He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
