tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
