hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
