I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
