Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
