Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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