Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize