but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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