I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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