Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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