did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
