My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
