I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
