Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
