I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
