good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
