Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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